Mikazuki - Sayuri (Eng Sub + Romaji) [Ranpo Kitan: Game of Laplace ED] Full

Because...

This.

Also this.  Because it made me giggle.

People pleasing is a dead-end street.

Have you ever noticed that when you attempt to please everybody, you end up pleasing no one and making yourself feel like utter crap?  I've been noticing that a lot lately.  Every time I try to do something right, it somehow ends up coming out wrong for somebody and then I feel...

I've been thinking recently, about things I haven't thought about in a while. 

There are things about Christianity that I don't believe in.  I don't believe that people have any right to decide or dictate how other people ought to believe.  I've been falling into the trap too many of us fall into: that following our way makes us better than everybody else.  We're not.  Actually, if you think about it, we're worse.  We have assured salvation.  We have the Holy Spirit living inside our bodies- and yet, we're still sinning.

At least other people can say 'well, I didn't have no Holy Spirit in me when I did that! How could I have known better?'

Who am I- Christian that I am- to look at other people's lives and judge them?  What about my life- what about my heart- is better than the people I'm judging?

It was driven home to me today that I put way too much stock in what other people think of me.  Expressing one opinion would disappoint someone I depend on to love me no matter what.  But expressing the opposite opinion would lose me the respect of someone else I care about very much.  So whom do I please?  The first or the second?  Which opinion is really mine?  I spend so much time trying to offend no one that everyone is offended and I'm left wondering if, in my attempt to please, I may have overlooked my own actual opinion.
It feels like that saying, 'if you wear a mask long enough, you become the mask.'

Does anyone else's mind think things like this, because I'm starting to feel like I might need professional help!

Here's the thing

I'm a Christian.

Yeah, I know, it's not a popular thing to be in this day and age.  But it's what I am.  More than that, it's who I am.  And I'm not ashamed of it.  I'm not ashamed of God.

I don't agree with the Supreme Court decision to legalize homosexual marriage.  Maybe I'm wrong.  That doesn't mean I'll change my mind.  I believe that God disapproves of homosexuality.

Notice I said 'homosexuality', not 'homosexuals.'  God loves homosexuals.  He also loves atheists, terrorists, vegans, liars, prostitutes, witches, and every other person on this planet.  He even loves me.  It's not people he hates- it's the choices we make.

I know some lesbians.  I work with them.  Actually, I think they're pretty and sweet and smart and hard-working.  I think they make excellent friends, and are very generous individuals.  I don't tell them how to live their lives.  They don't tell me how to live mine.  I love them the same way I love my other friends and coworkers.

Because God first loved me, I am able to give that same love to others, no matter their race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation.  We're all people.

And while, no, you won't see a rainbow on my profile picture or hear me talk about how great the Supreme Court decision has been, that doesn't mean that if one of my friends invites me to share their joy, I'll rain on their parade.
God hasn't smote them for their choice- why should I?

Yes, I'm a Christian.  I'm also white and a conservative and straight.  Guess what?  I'm not ashamed of any of those things.  I'm not going to apologize for any of them either.  If you want to start a fight, start it somewhere else- I'm secure in who I am and I don't need to defend myself to you.

Just like you, whoever you are, don't need to defend yourself to me.  I'm not your judge.

So don't try to be mine.

It's been a while, I know.

It's been a couple of months, I'm sorry to say.  Things have been...well, what began as a lack of motivation sort of mutated into...this huge gap in my blogging, writing, and general productivity.

I suppose I can tell people now.  Enough people know that it's not really a "secret" anymore.  In November, I started on the Medifast program, and since then, I've lost 43.6 pounds.
Per Sarah's suggestion, I put that much weight in my backpack and picked it up.  Holding it for five minutes started to make my back hurt.
Now, I'm nowhere near the end of this incredible, stressful, sometimes frustrating, but mostly gratifying journey.  In fact, if I think about where I ultimately want to get to, I'm not even halfway there.  But knowing that the last time I weighed this was just after my first year of college...it's still a good feeling.
Also, knowing that when I get my dress for Justin and Jenn's wedding, they'll have to take it in at least two sizes...that's a good feeling!

Update

It's been a while since I last updated. I'm sorry. Moodiness compiled with a complicated work situation plus homework results in a very lackluster development of any writing, including blog entries and my personal journal.

In terms of my current class, that equation might resemble something like:

Moodiness * (work + homework) = lackluster word development

Yeah, my current class is another one of those pesky math classes. But hey, at least math only has one possible answer, no matter the road you take to get there. If only the rest of life were so simple: just solve the problem (equation) for the value of x (the secret to happiness or success or just peace).

Alas, life is more complex than any math, even the most advanced. No equation works all the time for every situation.

Sadly. 

Well, Christmas is coming and despite my plans, my 'blog-aversary' passed us by without acknowledgment (October 26, in case you care).

But first, Thanksgiving!  My favorite holiday, and not because of the food- though that part is fun. No, my favorite part of Thanksgiving was always the time spent with family. No pressure of gift-giving, just fun and games and togetherness all day.

This year, my fun and togetherness will have to wait because my dear brother and his dear fiancée have the wonkiest schedules a person can have- yes, even wonkier than mine!

On the upside, Justin and I went to see Big Hero Six on Tuesday. It was our first movie since August, and I didn't realize just how possible it was to miss my brother this much. But I do, so it's good.

A last quick thought:

For those of you who pay attention, I am working on my next book, and I'm getting a jump start on it for this year's NaNo. Check here for updates, or here. I'll try to remember to update both pages.

Okay, see, now you're just showing off!

The most amazing artwork by daekazu

I used to think it wasn't really possible for anyone to be truly beautiful all the time. Then I realized that beauty, while very much in the eye of the beholder, is less something that can be seen, and more something who his felt.

Looking at my soon-to-be sister, and the way she looks at my brother, I realize that beauty is something we give more than something we are.  That's why we're told that our attitudes and manners are so important.

Beauty that stays inside us isn't beautiful. Beauty is only beautiful if it is seen and felt and given away.

Looking at Jenn and Justin (seriously, their engagement photos are wonderful), I now believe it is entirely possible for a person to be truly beautiful all the time.

Rain, rain, go away

Seriously!  We don't live in the Pacific Northwest!  Seven days in a row of rain is just too much!  We got a couple hours of sunlight Thursday and yesterday (a couple hours total, not a couple hours each day), but it's just not enough.

Here's something gross.  I removed a tick from Pepper this morning.  Ohmigosh, I still get all gyuh! when I think about the little monster.  I found it sometime around six or so this morning when I was petting her to make her stop growling at some sort of animal she smelled/heard outside so she would let me go back to sleep.  I thought it was a seed or something stuck in her fur with sap, but I didn't know for sure, so I took pictures of it to send to my mom when the hour was less...dark.  Seriously, it did not look like a tick!

Yeah.  It was a tick.  Armed with tweezers, a jar with a lid, and some disposable gloves, I pulled the little sucker (pun intended) out of Pepper's hide and stuck it in the jar, where I finally saw its little legs.  MONSTER!  The thing was gross.  Is gross.  Can ticks suffocate?  I hope it dies a horrible death for daring to attach to my little princess and make me have to get all gyuh!  I hate feeling gyuh!

Anyway, today has been productive, right? :P
I feel like I need a shower.  With fire, to get the gyuh! out of my system.

Don't worry, I sanitized Mom's tweezers with alcohol.

Awesomeness

Yeah, so, my week sucked.  Like, massively sucked.  I won't even go into the details and stuff, but suffice it to say that this week is one of the most difficult I've had in a long, long, long, long, long, long, long (you get the point) time.

But right now, I feel...okay.  My emotional center is still scrambled, but I feel more drained than anything else right now.  I need a laugh or some mindless entertainment. 

I am so sick of rain!

I am going to finish reading some Percy Jackson.  And smile.  I will keep smiling.

Sometimes, it just Sucks!