Words That Are Fun to Say

·         Anthropomorphizing

·         Bubbles

·         Cowabunga

·         Dazzle

·         Clunk

·         Proclivity

·         Fork

·         Periwinkle

·         Paparazzi

·         Muppet

·         Pizazz

·         Kleptomaniacal

·         Rutabaga

·         Pyrotechnics

You know, in high school, I created a partial list of words that were entertaining to say or sounded funny with my best friend.  I think ‘fork and ‘periwinkle’ were on that list too. :P

 

Most of the time, the quiet inside my own head is anything but.  Today was one of those days when things finally seemed to shut off.  I think my mental librarians took the day off.  It happens so very, very rarely…  I wrote a story about them once, you know.  It was actually kind of creative.  I redefined “muse”, “imaginary friends”, “characters”, and “feelings”.  It was actually a stretch of my own writing comfort zone; I’m not usually someone for anthropomorphizing things like that (the closest I’ve ever come is the occasional talking animal), but it was actually kind of fun.  Someday I may even use it as a short story.  I seem to be better at writing those than full-length novels.

Here’s a philosophical question: when dealing with ex-boyfriends, how should one deal with them?  If the breakup is amiable, is remaining friends a good idea?  How do you deal with the awkwardness when one party was more emotionally involved than the other, but that one still wants to stay friends?

Sometimes I wonder.  I’m dealing with my own insecurity issues when it comes to my appeal, but sometimes…sometimes I have to wonder.

You know, I have done a lot of thinking, and even more praying when it comes to this sort of thing.  This whole “soul-searching” journey began because I wanted to feel like I was as good as my friend.  Selfish motives, I know, and definitely not the way to begin a spiritual journey.  Actually, I think that I sometimes feel that way.  That if I just apply myself for a while, I’ll have some spiritual epiphany that will shoot me ahead of others in that department.  It’s a very, very selfish way of thinking, and I don’t like it.

But I’m getting better.  At least I think I am.  I hope so, anyway.  I feel more together within myself, but I also feel more together with God, and that’s what I’ve been looking for my whole life.  There’s truth, you know, in the saying that everyone has a God-shaped hole in their heart.  I’m kind of happy to know that mine is a little less empty now.

Some more good news is this: I now fit into pants a size smaller than I have been wearing.  And the rings that I have now fit on larger fingers.  That, more than anything else, helps me to realize that I actually am losing weight, however slowly it’s happening.  It’s been months since I started to realize that I am beautiful as I am, no matter how big or small I am.  That’s a good, good feeling.

Something my mother said to me yesterday made me think.  I’ve been thinking a lot about my Aunt Barb this month.  It being Breast Cancer Awareness month and all, that’s probably appropriate.  I think, too, I’m finally starting to come to terms with her death, which is definitely necessary for healing.  Anyway, I mentioned this to my mom, that I’d been thinking more about Aunt Barb, and she said to me “She’s with Him.”  Now, maybe that seemed overly simplistic to you, or maybe you’re skeptical and rolling your eyes at what you see as my unbelievably naïve view of this.  But those words really got to me.

 

One of my favorite quotes comes from one of my favorite books: Sophie’s Heart by Lori Wick.  In it, one of the characters- Alec- is comforting his children over the death of their mother, and one of the kids asks the inevitable “why” that crops up whenever someone dies violently, suddenly, or prematurely.  And Alec’s answer was very simple, but it puts things in a light that not even many Christians tend to look at things like death.  Alec told his children, “God just loved her so much that he couldn’t wait to have her with him.”

Isn’t that beautiful?