Update

It's been a while since I last updated. I'm sorry. Moodiness compiled with a complicated work situation plus homework results in a very lackluster development of any writing, including blog entries and my personal journal.

In terms of my current class, that equation might resemble something like:

Moodiness * (work + homework) = lackluster word development

Yeah, my current class is another one of those pesky math classes. But hey, at least math only has one possible answer, no matter the road you take to get there. If only the rest of life were so simple: just solve the problem (equation) for the value of x (the secret to happiness or success or just peace).

Alas, life is more complex than any math, even the most advanced. No equation works all the time for every situation.

Sadly. 

Well, Christmas is coming and despite my plans, my 'blog-aversary' passed us by without acknowledgment (October 26, in case you care).

But first, Thanksgiving!  My favorite holiday, and not because of the food- though that part is fun. No, my favorite part of Thanksgiving was always the time spent with family. No pressure of gift-giving, just fun and games and togetherness all day.

This year, my fun and togetherness will have to wait because my dear brother and his dear fiancée have the wonkiest schedules a person can have- yes, even wonkier than mine!

On the upside, Justin and I went to see Big Hero Six on Tuesday. It was our first movie since August, and I didn't realize just how possible it was to miss my brother this much. But I do, so it's good.

A last quick thought:

For those of you who pay attention, I am working on my next book, and I'm getting a jump start on it for this year's NaNo. Check here for updates, or here. I'll try to remember to update both pages.

Okay, see, now you're just showing off!

The most amazing artwork by daekazu

I used to think it wasn't really possible for anyone to be truly beautiful all the time. Then I realized that beauty, while very much in the eye of the beholder, is less something that can be seen, and more something who his felt.

Looking at my soon-to-be sister, and the way she looks at my brother, I realize that beauty is something we give more than something we are.  That's why we're told that our attitudes and manners are so important.

Beauty that stays inside us isn't beautiful. Beauty is only beautiful if it is seen and felt and given away.

Looking at Jenn and Justin (seriously, their engagement photos are wonderful), I now believe it is entirely possible for a person to be truly beautiful all the time.

Rain, rain, go away

Seriously!  We don't live in the Pacific Northwest!  Seven days in a row of rain is just too much!  We got a couple hours of sunlight Thursday and yesterday (a couple hours total, not a couple hours each day), but it's just not enough.

Here's something gross.  I removed a tick from Pepper this morning.  Ohmigosh, I still get all gyuh! when I think about the little monster.  I found it sometime around six or so this morning when I was petting her to make her stop growling at some sort of animal she smelled/heard outside so she would let me go back to sleep.  I thought it was a seed or something stuck in her fur with sap, but I didn't know for sure, so I took pictures of it to send to my mom when the hour was less...dark.  Seriously, it did not look like a tick!

Yeah.  It was a tick.  Armed with tweezers, a jar with a lid, and some disposable gloves, I pulled the little sucker (pun intended) out of Pepper's hide and stuck it in the jar, where I finally saw its little legs.  MONSTER!  The thing was gross.  Is gross.  Can ticks suffocate?  I hope it dies a horrible death for daring to attach to my little princess and make me have to get all gyuh!  I hate feeling gyuh!

Anyway, today has been productive, right? :P
I feel like I need a shower.  With fire, to get the gyuh! out of my system.

Don't worry, I sanitized Mom's tweezers with alcohol.

Awesomeness

Yeah, so, my week sucked.  Like, massively sucked.  I won't even go into the details and stuff, but suffice it to say that this week is one of the most difficult I've had in a long, long, long, long, long, long, long (you get the point) time.

But right now, I feel...okay.  My emotional center is still scrambled, but I feel more drained than anything else right now.  I need a laugh or some mindless entertainment. 

I am so sick of rain!

I am going to finish reading some Percy Jackson.  And smile.  I will keep smiling.

Sometimes, it just Sucks!

 



October Reading List

Percy Jackson and the Olympians:
The Lightning Thief 10/4/14
The Sea of Monsters 10/4/14
The Titan's Curse 10/5/14
The Battle of the Labyrinth 10/11/14
The Last Olympian 10/11/14

The Kane Chronicles:
The Red Pyramid
The Throne of Fire
The Serpent's Shadow

Heroes of Olympus:
The Lost Hero 10/13/14
The Son of Neptune 10/14/14
The Mark of Athena
The House of Hades
The Blood of Olympus

Crossovers:
The Son of Sobek
The Staff of Serapis

Sides:
Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Demigod Files
The Heroes of Olympus: The Demigod Diaries
Percy Jackson's Greek Gods

Think Pink

A tribute to Breast Cancer Awareness Month:

Because it totally deserves a post all to itself!!!

Counting blessings

There are times that I wonder if my mind is even normal. And then there are times I know it's not. 

Like today.

My big 'thank you' to God today is that Justin is a boy and that I have no step-sisters.

Seriously?

Who is grateful for things like that?  Who actively thanks God that their brother is a brother? That he's healthy, yeah. That he's happy, no question. 

But that he's a he?

Weird.

I dunno. I was just having strange thoughts. Like, what if Dad had had a daughter when he and Mom got married? Well, not only would I not be his parents' only granddaughter, I also might have ended up being jealous of my stepsister. Who wants to be jealous of their stepsister?

And what if she'd been prettier than me? Or skinnier? I wouldn't have just been jealous, I may actually have needed up hating her!

I mean, really, who the heck thinks these kinds of what ifs?  I don't have a stepsister, so what's the point of worrying about how I might have hated her if I had one and she was prettier than me?

You see why I question whether or not my mind works normally.

The real truth is...

Wow, I haven't really updated much this month, have I?

Well, the honest truth is, I'm still rather down.  I know, it's been more than a month, and the funeral/memorial came and went.  But I still find myself bursting into tears at random moments when something, some little, inconsequential thing, triggers a memory.
Last Thursday, it was "Ain't She Sweet" on the radio (for those of you who don't get it, it's a song from the forties that we used to sing every time we had music therapy.  One of her favorite songs.).

I'm looking forward to Wednesday this week.  My dear, sweet soon-to-be sister has made an appointment to look at (and I assume, try on) bridesmaid dresses.  I've been looking forward to that news since April!

I went out with a new friend on Friday night, so I'm being sociable.  That news should come as something of a relief to those of you who think I'm becoming a hermit (you know who you are :-P).  We went and walked around Bayshore for a while.  Had some spirited conversation.

Dad helped me update (and upgrade) my resume.  That was fun.  I can now proudly tell all the prospective employers in the world that I am a published author.
That was one of the best feelings I've ever felt.

But right now, I'm coming off a fifteen hour shift (yikes, right?) and need some sleep.  The glamor of a job in "intensive customer service".

Dog days

All my problems would be solved if I would just stop letting the dog sleep on the bed with me...

• She's like a little furnace, so letting her sleep with me always means I'm too hot.  So then I throw the covers off and my arms, nose, and feet freeze (everything not covered by my nightgown).
• She's a very aggressive cuddler.  She situates herself so that she's pressed so tightly against my back or stomach that I inevitably roll away from her a little bit to try to get some room.  She then moves closer again.  And before you know it, I roll off the edge of the bed- asleep- and she looks down at me like 'why do you want to sleep down there?'
• She sheds everywhere.  I kid you not.  Every night before I let her up on the bed, I brush her out and then use the lint roller on her back.  And every morning, I've got a new carpet of shedded fur on the blankets.  Also the pillows.  And my clothes.  And my skin.  And sometimes, if I'm really unlucky, in my mouth.

So yes, all of my problems would be solved if I made her sleep on the floor like she does when I'm not the one watching her.
But then she looks at me with those eyes that ask 'don't you love me anymore?' and I cave.  I fold.  I invite her up onto the bed and give her a thorough petting to reassure her that yes, I still love her.

And they say cats are the manipulators!

Title Day!

I'm more comfortable with my mind in another world.
I've met people who think I get too into things like movies or books.  They label me as weird or nerdy.  They don't understand how my mind works.

For most people, for normal people, they watch a movie and it's a fun, temporary escape from reality.  Emphasis on temporary.  They read a book and are able to keep themselves mentally separated from the other worlds revealed in the pages.  Their "adventure" lasts from cover to cover.

For me, I watch a movie, and my mind is filled with the possibilities.  Like "what might happen if the characters did this and this as opposed to that?"  I wonder at their real motivations, especially if there is no discussion of why within the movie itself.  I read a book, and my mind gets to know that world as well as it knows this one.

I know my mind works differently from others.  Shoot, I see a story in everything I come across during a typical day.  A sunbeam through rainclouds turns into an introspective scene.  A Woman walking her dog becomes a "voice of reason" character within my narrative.  A book display at the store becomes a fun moment of interaction between protagonists.  There is literally a story everywhere.

So you know what?  Call me a nerd.  Call me weird, call me crazy.  I am unique, and God made me this way, so I must have stories worth telling.

Labels don't bother me anymore. :)

When a Seventeen Second Miracle turns into a personal nightmare...

So...remember when I told you about the conversation with a stranger that I had a couple days ago?

Turns out, while we were standing there talking, I was basically a mosquito buffet- a free buffet, at that.  I have fourteen (yes, FOURTEEN bites on my legs- two of which are on my right foot; heel and instep, thank you very much) and one on my left arm.  I have been itching for two days! 

And while last night at work, all the sweating I was doing in the ridiculous heat kind of kept them from itching too badly, last night in bed, I was manic.  The ones on my feet actually hurt they itch so badly.
I'm just grateful there aren't more of them.

Cool shower and an oatmeal wash (no, I mean body wash, thank you, not soaking in oatmeal) helped for a couple hours last night, so I'm going to try that again today.
After the anti-itch cream wears off and the silly dog stops barking at the empty tree (and yes, it is empty.  I prodded every branch with a stick and nothing fell out except the crab-cherries).

Isn't summer over yet?

Little PSA

I don't care how 'good' a friend you are, telling a depressed person, "But you have so much going for you" or "You should be thankful" or "You have so much to be grateful for, how could you be depressed?" is NOT helpful, good, or kind.

In fact, if you've said any of those or similar things to a depressed- or heaven forbid, a suicidal- person, you are not only guilty of cruelty, you may also be guilty of making it worse.

Watch your mouth.  Stop trying to 'figure it out'.  Be glad you're not depressed if you must, but don't project your limited experience onto those who challenge it.  Depression is real, it is debilitating, and it is an illness.
If it's not something you suffer from, that's a blessing for you.  That doesn't make it any less real for those who do.

Seventeen Second Miracle: Conversation with a Stranger

It started with a comment about a purse.

It ended an hour later.

There was nothing profound in it.  I didn't make a lifelong friend.  I honestly had to struggle to even remember her name.  We talked about her conflicts with her manager at work and about our similar outlook on men and faith and sex.  We didn't exchange numbers or email addresses, and if I ever see her again, maybe neither of us will recognize the other.

But for that hour, she and I connected in a very human way.  We related.  A conversation has the potential to be an intimate, spiritual experience.  Not because all we talk about is God.  But because the spirit inside the two people involved connect in a significant way.

So today, that was my Seventeen Second Miracle.

Because I wasn't the one who commented on the purse.  She didn't even have one.  In fact, I was trying to keep my head down and avoid small talk (I hate making small talk).  But her efforts at engaging me in conversation made for an enjoyable hour spent being social- an opportunity someone like me doesn't often get.

Tears as prayers

As some of you may know, last week, I lost my full time client.  I've taken care of her for a year an a half- first two days a week, then three, and for the past five months, four days a week (literally, I lived with her four days a week.  I spent more time with her than without her).

Her passing wasn't dramatic- there was no earthquake or crash of thunder.  I'm sure the angels celebrated, and I have this vision of her raising her cocktail glass in heaven.  She simply...stopped breathing.

I was trying to read the book of Acts to her, but my tears kept getting in the way, so I just held her hand.  Her loss is felt, definitely, but it didn't break me.  Not with God holding me up this past week.

Not many people realized what happened.  This is one of the costs of being a loner, I get that.  But I'm finally ready to talk about it.  I'll keep her in my heart- because that's where you keep family.

I've spent the past week cleaning and praying and thinking.  Some crying, but not as much of it as I thought.  I can't cry.  She's where she belongs, and someday I'll see her again.  We'll have a drink when I get home. :)

Now that's an image I know she'd like.

But tears or no, losing her has left a huge hole in my life and my heart.  I'll always miss her, and whenever that missing hits me, I'll cry.  That's what you do when you lose someone you love.

God knows.

Don't tell me how to do my job

I'm so tired. 

Tired of worrying.  Tired of working.  Tired of watching people I love die.

I haven't been sleeping well.  My apartment is a mess.  I haven't been to church in more than a month.  I feel too much and yet nothing at the same time.

End of life care is not for the faint of heart.  Trust me, I speak from experience.  It is grueling, heart-breaking, soul-piercing work.

I've had people say to me, "How can you be so tired all the time?  I work nine hour days lifting and hauling, and I'm never as tired as you say you are."  I've had people say to me, "Try being on your feet eight hours straight and then tell me how tired you are!"  I've even had people tell me, "You've got it so easy!  You get to sit around and play with old people all day!"

I can pretty much guarantee that every single one of those people is 100% ignorant of what it is that I, and so many like me, actually do.

So here's a basic idea of things I'm trained to do:

• empty catheter and colostomy bags
• light housekeeping: vacuuming, dusting, sweeping, mopping, scrubbing toilets/commodes, cleaning sinks and showers, laundry, washing dishes
• cooking
• changing bed linens
• transferring non-ambulatory clients from chair to wheelchair to bed to toilet; sometimes, we use a tool called a gait belt, if our clients allow it.  Other times, there's a lot of pulling and lifting involved.
• if a client is bed-bound, we change diapers, give bed baths, lift and roll, sometimes while the client is actively resisting our efforts.
• personal cares, such as brushing teeth and hair, assisting with showers, sponge baths
• pushing wheelchairs if clients want to go for a "walk"

(I'm also CPR certified, and I not only know how to empty a colostomy bag, once upon a time, I learned how to change them, too.)

These are just things I've had actual training to do.  Here are some of the things I do that I was never trained to do:

• spend more than 50% of my week at another person's house, where I sleep on a couch if I sleep at all
• get up multiple times in a night when my client has trouble sleeping or is in pain
• invest my time, energy, and heart into someone who is not related to me by blood
• spend my free time thinking of ways to engage my clients' interest
• make sure the family is kept informed; usually doing this myself, since the office I work for isn't into the daily details so much as the bigger picture of service.

So the next time you want to hang out and I beg off because I'm too tired, don't ask me how I can be so tired.  Just let me take my nap and ask me again later.  Or better yet, come to work with me, and I'll show you how I can be so tired.

Because I can

These arts are brought to you by Brooke Clayton (aka Tsuzukikun) who is one of my very favorite artists.

 

Her renditions of my character, Sweetbreeze. 

No, you don't have to get it.  The point is, I love them.

It's been on my mind lately.

Dealing with the anticipation of grief is almost as difficult as dealing with the grief itself once it comes.

Some people might read that and think ‘why anticipate grief if you know it’s coming anyway?’ 

Can you really help it?  Yes, maybe it seems like you’re compounding the grief unnecessarily- it brings to mind the argument that worrying about something doesn’t make it come any faster, but it can give you ulcers.

I’m a caregiver.  It’s more than just my job.  According to my mother, I’m patient and compassionate and it’s a good fit for me.  I think she sees me as being better than I actually am, but I’m not complaining.  It’s nice when people think you’re better than you are.  At least with me, it makes me want to be better than I am.

Unfortunately, being a caregiver comes with certain risks.  Not the risks you might think.  Aside from the occasional injury from trying to lift too much at odd angles, most of the risks of my job are emotional and mental.  It’s almost impossible to avoid developing close relationships with clients, especially when you spend all your time at work with only one or two clients.  Since I work long shifts with the same client, I can’t stop myself from falling in love.

The first time I had a client pass away, it devastated me.  I was useless for two days afterwards (I literally slept all day following her death at my parents’ house and then finally made it home- my mother demanded I call her when I got there just to make sure I was okay), and almost numb for the following week (I couldn’t even go to the funeral by myself; my parents came with me and we stayed a grand total of seven minutes- long enough to hug my client’s ‘girl’ and deliver my condolences to the children).

I remember how much that hurt.  I remember how it felt, to lose someone who had been almost completely the center of my life for more than a year.  My life went on- it couldn’t not, even I know that.  But I still miss her.  On the anniversary of her death, I was a wreck.  I still miss her, still think about her.

Now, I’m observing her later condition in a client I have now, and the memory of those feelings comes rushing back to me, prodding me with the dread of what will happen when she passes.  When you go through something like that once, it’s painful enough.  I’m not even thirty, and this is what I’ve chosen to do with my life.  I have my life to look forward to repeating this experience of loss over and over again.

I’ve been wondering lately if I might be something of a masochist.  After all, there has to be something wrong with someone who actually chooses to experience such deep emotional pain over and over throughout their life.

But the thing is…I really wouldn’t trade the good times, the relationships I form with my clients- and even, by extension, my clients’ families- for anything, not even the pain of loss and grief.

Contemplations on a whim

I have a design for a character in my head, and yet, I don’t know what I’m going to put her in.  I have all the characters I need for my Aenen storyline, and she definitely doesn’t fit into any of my Chick lit stories.  I’ve sketched her a dozen times and cannot get the character out of my head. 
It’s possible I’m looking at a new fantasy story.
I’ve been pondering my process lately.  The most seemingly random things inspire me.  I have a couple of short stories that were written based on a necklace or a hairstyle.
Yes, I know that makes it sound like they’re fluffy little pieces about girly things.  Not really.  One based on a necklace actually doesn’t even mention the necklace itself.  It’s a story about a girl who makes friends with a leopard.  It was the necklace that made me think of talking animals.
See?  My process is so totally random that it makes no sense when I try to examine or explain it.  All I know is that it works, and I should stop trying to question it.

Nahemii-san's designs, which I "purchased/adopted"

I think I’m also getting pretty good at sketching.  Not faces, mind you, but I’m definitely improving on hair and clothes.  My only problem is that I don’t have any ability to draw bodies, so I’ve been using models.  I “bought” a couple of different poses from one of my “friends” on deviantart, Nahemii-san. 
Now there is an artist who can draw clothes!  I’ve adopted a couple of outfits that I’ve tried redrawing- they never look as good when I do it. =D  But, again, they inspired me, so I “bought” them.  I do love deviantart points.

 

Mom is right; I need to make changes more often if my reaction is going to be so prolonged.  Every time I look at my pretty blue toenails, I get all giggly again. J  I’m such a dork.
So, it’s been more than a week.  I feel comfortable reviewing Lucy now.  Even so...

CONTINUE AT YOUR OWN RISK.  SPOILERS AHEAD.

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Okay, I'll start with my assessment of the movie:

It was totally weird. There were three of us watching and we could only come up with about one word to describe it: weird.

Now, from here on, there are spoilers ahead, so please, please don't read this if you haven't seen the movie yet.

So far as movies go, it actually started out really well. Very intense from the beginning, Scarlett Johanssen made a rather believable character.

So the basic premise of the story is that Lucy is hijacked to be a drug mule, the bag leaks, and she ends up developing super powers as a result.

She goes on something of a rampage, killing everybody responsible for her kidnapping and the drugs- or trying to- along with a couple of innocent bystanders. Which was a MAJOR personality shift from the character in the beginning of the movie who was freaking out from being kidnapped.  I mean FREAKING OUT- she threw up and her nose was running from the crying she was doing.  As she gains more and more powers, she starts to become kind of loopy and emotionless, which totally distracts from what should be the coolness of the character and her powers.

The effects were amazing, and the acting, such as it was, was very well done. Morgan Freeman did an excellent job as the professor.

The ending though...it was just WEIRD. I liked the cop character, Del Rio, but didn't really understand his purpose. Lucy claimed to want him around to remind her of what it was to be human, but she kissed him and it felt awkward and out of place and, frankly, pretty pointless. It didn't feel romantic in the slightest.

And as for Lucy's "death"- I'm still not entirely sure how that came about.

In all, I'd give the thing a C. It could go either way, but the last time I was so confunded by a movie was from watching The Fountain.

My suggestion: wait until it comes out on DVD, and either rent it or add it to your netflix queue. The scenes in the trailers were easily the ones worth watching in the whole movie. Unless you enjoy the plot holes and randomness of this kind of story.
Thus endeth the review.

It's such a pretty blue!

Chibi Beryl and Shitennou by SemiMage

I found this art when I was checking my dA messages, and (after asking permission to share it) decided to post it here because, let's face it, whether you know what it is or not, it's adorable art:
So, there you go.

I think my mom is right; I need to change things up more often, because I am waaaaaaay too excited about the polish on my toes.  And the highlights she put in my hair last week...
On the up side, I totally wrote like three more pages today, so woohoo, go me.
I just wish I didn't feel like I needed a nap now. :)

 

Meghan Trainor - All About That Bass

I watched this video and then promptly shared it on Facebook.  It's got a beat that makes it immediately catchy, but then listening to the lyrics, it was even more fun.  It's important to claim who you are, no matter your size or anything else about yourself that might be "objectionable".

Own it, honey, you're beautiful no matter what you look like!

Insomnia strikes again

This has got to stop.
For some reason, I haven't been sleeping well.  And trust me, as someone well acquainted with insomnia, I know what it feels like to need it and not get it.
This is me, averaging about five hours of sleep a night, even (and maybe especially) at work.

And also, my feet hurt.

And it's only Friday.

I bet I got you with that one.  Well, unlike most of the rest of the population, Friday does not signal the end of the week for me.  Actually, my weekend isn't a weekend so much as a day on which I can do weekend-y things.  Usually, that's Tuesday.  Sometimes Sunday afternoons.

I'm wearing my African beads today.  They go with my shirt.  Mom and Dad brought me these really awesome beaded necklaces back from South Africa.  One of them has these teal beads, and the other one is brown and gold.  What's really cool about them is that Mom says they're all seeds.
Haha, literally "seed beads."

Speaking of Mom, we had a lot of fun on Tuesday, despite the heat.  Well, I say despite the heat, but I'm sure Mom enjoyed it. :)  She highlighted my hair, which was fun.  I like how it looks- it makes me look like I actually spend some time outside in the sun.  And she curled it for me too (I washed the curl out last night, unfortunately), which was awesome.  We watched Rise of the Planet of the Apes so she would remember what had happened when she and Dad went and saw Dawn of the Planet of the Apes.

They were really excited about having date night in the middle of the week. 
I love my parents.  They are adorable and I love how in love they are. 

Projects and word counts- begin again with wedding bells!

I've got a song from an animated movie stuck in my head.
And it's not annoying.
Weird.

I am a Ravenclaw prefect this week.  My nail colors are gold and blue.  The gold looks kind of bronze-y, so I declared them Ravenclaw colors.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Next week, probably, I'll be doing Sailor Venus nails: yellow, orange and blue.

I wrote 2,050 words on ilys.  Emma's story is taking shape.  I might even have it finished by the time NaNo comes around.
I really want to do NaNo, merely because I know that writing is good for my sanity.  Maybe I don't churn out a new book every year.  But you know what?  That's okay.  So long as I keep writing, it doesn't matter.
Emma, by the way, is probably going to get her own sequel.  :)

And Emma's story is only one of the projects I'm currently working on!  Whew!  It's a sort of Lakeview Heights novel, so there might be some character appearances that are familiar.
But I'm also working on a high fantasy and an urban fantasy (that one's kind of out of my comfort zone, so I don't know how much I'm going to be working on it). As well as a collection of faith-based short stories.
See what I mean by projects?

But this is what I want to do with my life.  So I'm content.

Also, because I believe this bears mentioning; I wish I could have been there:

Congratulations, Tiffany and Luke!

They've been married six days now.

Saving America -- Mom made a countdown.

Saving America -- http://www.webcountdown.net/?a=mUqPRec

Share it EVERYWHERE!

Inspired by Hannity (at least I think it was Hannity), Mom went online and made a countdown to Obama's end of term.

Review of Dawn of the Planet of the Apes and other words...*SPOILER ALERT*

PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES AND DON'T WANT TO KNOW DETAILLS THAT MIGHT SPOIL THE MOVIE FOR YOU.  YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!

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Well, to begin with, the effects in this most recent incarnation of Ape World are so phenomenal, they carried the story through the excessive violence. There's a lot of that, so you know. This movie is NOT appropriate for young children and might even be questionable for teenagers. But you're their parents, so you'll have to make that distinction yourself.

As with the last movie of similar title, it is the characters that carry the movie. Most notably the familiar names of Caesar, Maurice, Koba, and Rocket. The movie opens where the last one closed, fortunately, and it passes through approximately ten years in the span of the opening credits before we get our first view of the apes the movie is named for.

More ape characters are introduced- most notably the first generation of super-smart apes after the "jail break" that ended "Rise". We meet Caesar's son, Blue Eyes, and as much as the story is about the tensions between human and ape (and, eventually, ape and ape), it is also about Blue Eyes coming of age in the world as it has become.

The range of emotions the characters display for each other even before the introduction of this round of human characters is phenomenal: we watch the apes hunt in a pack, playing off each other's strengths, we get to see Caesar's wife/mate give birth to their second son (poor thing never does get a name before the end of the movie), we see the family love and dynamic within the larger ape groups. We also experience the moment that the apes become, for all intents and purposes, human- because only humans commit murder (I define murder here as the killing for pleasure or material gain rather than survival).

There are a few comedic relief moments to lighten a movie that otherwise had me tense the entire time- usually waiting for something to jump out. Koba's pretense at being a "dumb" ape to escape a couple of humans was entertaining, if slightly creepy because you understood the motivation behind it. His relationship with Caesar, who freed him from the human labs in "Rise", is intriguing to watch because it carries with it the opposite end of the spectrum of very human relationship (the other end being love, the love Caesar has for wife and children). Koba's betrayal of everything the apes are supposed to hold dear- for power, no less- is a very humanizing component of the story.

And yet, even though the apes started the war, it was the humans, in the end, who still managed, in some part, to be villains.

And I suppose I was not the only one at the end thinking, as his "people" bowed to him, "All hail Caesar!"

My recommendation: if you're only seeing one movie this year, it should have been Captain America: The Winter Soldier. If you're seeing two, try Dawn of the Planet of the Apes- especially if you saw Rise of the Planet of the Apes a couple years ago. (This recommendation is subject to change as more movies come out.) Next movie review: Lucy!

Today was more than a movie, however. I got to contribute to a project I'm absolutely thrilled to be a part of (anything that contributes to the mainstream recognition of ElfQuest is something I want to be a part of!).

And I read and I wrote and I hung out with my mom (we watched Revenge of the Sith and part of A New Hope) and I caught up with my brother.  That's always a reason to celebrate.

Because I needed to vent

Ewoks vs. Marvel characters

I'm rather irritated.

It's sad, really.  I have all sorts of verbal "reviews" from family members (to whom my mother sent my books), but not one person has posted a review on Amazon.

NOT ONE.

That's both irritating and depressing.
Anyway, I've had kind of an annoying afternoon.  But at least I got rid of one facebook "friend" who's been acting like an ass.
Yes, I said it!  Like an ass! 
Where does he get off calling me stupid? 

Anyway, being the nerd that I am, I decided to alleviate the hurt (even from someone you don't actually care about, being called stupid still hurts) by playing Star Wars.  I got Han Solo, Chewbacca, and R2-D2 already, along with a bunch of name less characters (a Trandoshian slaver, an Ithorian outcast, a Katan, a probe droid, and a Jawa).  It's fun.  It's nerdy.
I like it.

And that's about all I have to say on the matter today.  I don't normally like alienating people, but I'm pretty proud of myself, actually.

Why are philosophers so long-winded?

Do they get paid by the word?  Is that why they use four hundred words where three will do?  I mean, come on, I'm a writer by nature and by choice.  But even I know that the higher your word count goes, the less likely people are to read what you write!
Ugh!
Philosophers are like theologians, I think.  They are under the impression that if one is to convert a person, one must pile so many words on top of them that the person will agree with them just to escape.
Yes, I know that's uncharitable.
But you didn't have to do the homework for this class I NEVER SIGNED UP FOR in the first place!  The only good thing about it was being able to watch Groundhog Day in week four!  I wrote three papers about euthanasia because the other topic choices were animal rights, environmentalism, and the ethics of war.  And seriously?  I'm a Christian, and my perspective on every one of these topics is an unpopular one in liberal circles (this is why a liberal college was not my smartest move). 

*sigh*
I needed a break to rant or something.  I felt like I was going to explode!

Happy 4th!

Happy Independence Day!

Can you believe it's July?  Part of me feels like I should say "finally", and another part of me wants to say "already".  Most of me just groans because it's summer and it's hot and I don't like it.
But then, we all know I'm weird and quite possibly more than slightly insane.

There's nothing quite like the feeling of being told you're adorable by someone who has no personal stake in your happiness.  Yes, my parents never fail to tell me how cute I am, and (as a female) any man who wants to stick around had better appreciate how cute I am.  But someone outside that circle, who doesn't need me to be happy for their own reasons, telling me I'm adorable?
Well, shoot, that just about made my day.

So, as I'm sitting here, I am realizing that I've become a slacker again.  I have homework I need to be doing (I have a paper due on Monday) as well as a book I could be working on.  Should, in fact, be working on.  I'm still hesitant about doing NaNo this year, if only because by the time November rolls around, I will be deep in the throes of my degree capstone.  Bleh.  But c'est la vie.  Maybe I'll do my own version of NaNo after I graduate, hey?

In the meantime, I'm going to eat lunch and continue to contemplate my advanced capabilities for procrastination.

I read, therefore I am: Discuss (or Review of The Winter Letter by D. E. Stanley)

 

I suppose I'm supposed to say "SPOILER ALERT" as though someone actually reads my blog. :P
Anyway.  I started to have a few doubts when Jared got all up in Will's face and took the letter from him after the Awakening Ceremony, but then wrote it off as his just being stressed.
However...For the last several chapters, ever since Jared forbade Gat, Will, and Wohie to attempt a rescue of the missing orphans and tried to imprison them when they decided to rescue them anyway, I'd started to suspect the King Mel is not the evil one after all.  It's all a conspiracy.  Or, as Phoebe might say (I was watching Charmed last night): "Somebody's working on a massive evil plan!"

At this exact moment, I suddenly got an incredible epiphany.  See...according to the SSF (story so far), there were three major knights/guardians of the Kingdom of Neba.  Markus (who is now called King Markus of the Under-Kingdom), Andrias (whom the children all think is an evil spy, turned by King Mel), and the last, being Eleazar.  The only one we haven't met yet is the last.

I just drew the connection when Jared started yelling at Will about his parents.  Will's dad's name was Eli.

It was no accident that his parents died.  It was no accident that he ended up in Baru.  And it was no accident that some bird dive-bombed him on his way to meet the King.

I love it when epiphanies come before the end of the book.

Oh.  And the book is called The Winter Letter by D.E. Stanley.
It's something you should definitely read if you were a fan of the Chronicles of Narnia (trust me on this; I read Narnia every Christmas and have for like the past fifteen or so years!).  The story itself is a good faith-fantasy.  The characters are fun (I dare you not to enjoy a "butterbug" named Jabber, a tree named Forest, a trio of talking lions who aren't just lions, or a quartet of boys named Yoh, Goh, Broh, and Sloh), the "magic" is real, with real costs and real consequences.  The story has adventure and tragedy and hope.

Really, I cannot wait to read the next installment.  I even liked the author's page (as well as the book's page) on facebook!  And you know how I feel about facebook!

*sigh*

I am feeling decidedly unmotivated lately.
I feel out of sorts, but nothing's really wrong.

I'm weird.  Some women have closets full of clothes and shoes, and I laugh when I hear them complain that they have nothing to wear (granted, this is mostly sitcom characters, because I don't really know women with that problem).  I have more than 900 books on Kindle, and probably around 300 still in paper, and I feel like I have nothing to read!
I want to read the Percy Jackson and Heroes of Olympus series, but the latter quintet won't be finished until October, and I want to read them in order.  Which sucks, because I'm seriously impatient. 
I'm a junkie.  A book junkie.
Let's face it, there are worse things to be addicted to.
Which is why it sucks to be going through withdrawal when I have so many books to read.  The problem being, they're all incomplete series or something.
I suppose I could read the Sword of Truth books again.

Or maybe the Yada Yada Prayer Group.
Yeah, I think I'll read those next.

You, on the other hand, should read THIS

It didn't start out as a tirade...

I have long been comfortable with the fact that I am a fuddy-duddy.  Let me clarify- I in no way think I am boring or that the life I choose to lead is in any way less than someone else's (except maybe in the area of romance, but I don't really want to get into that today).
You see, I don't like to travel.  I don't want to go to Europe every year or explore foreign lands and try new things.  Yes, I like to try some new things, but I prefer to do it at home.
My parents travel.  Boy, do they travel!  In the past fifteen years, they've gone more new places than I have ever had a desire to go in my entire life.  But I'm not like my parents.  In fact, sometimes I'll jokingly ask my mother if she's sure no one switched me with her real baby at the hospital. 

It's something I've gotten accustomed to defending, actually.  People hear about all of my parents' wonderful trips and ask me if I'm jealous or if I ever wan to go. 
I don't.  The only time I even get a little excited about traveling is when people bring up New Zealand or Ireland.  Otherwise, I'll keep my travels domestic, thank you very much.  I'm a homebody by nature, and an introvert.  I don't need the foreign travels.  My imagination (as well as the photos my parents inevitably bring home with them) are enough for me.  I love listening to their stories and I love it even more listening to their excitement as they tell those stories.
Just because I'm not out there going to other countries or meeting new people or trying new foods in those other countries does not mean I am not living my life.  Just because my life is different from theirs, or from yours, does not mean my life is less full or less complete than theirs or yours.
It just means I choose to spend my money on things closer to home.

Life is a book written by someone else

You know, when I read a book- and not even only the first time- I often wonder how characters can act so stupidly. As a writer myself, I know perfectly well that it is, in fact, the characters' own faults and not the author because I've been in that position, of desperately trying to keep up with what they're doing. We have much less actual influence over their lives than others might believe.

But anyway, sometimes my ire in the face of the stupidity of characters who seem otherwise intelligent is stronger on the second or third reading because by that point, I know that they're going to make stupid choices and I can't do anything to stop them.

It's like Rumple said in OUaT: "When you see the future, there's irony everywhere."

But it made me think about something; this is what life is like. We act- and react- to what we know. And sometimes our choices as a result are good. And sometimes our choices are bad. And sometimes our choices- if we even survive them at all- make us wonder how we could have possibly been so embarrassingly stupid in the first place.

Hindsight is, as they say, the only vision that is 20/20.

We are, in a very literal sense, these characters that sometimes make me want to chuck my book across a room.

It's a lovely sentiment to say that "I am the author of my own life story", but the truth is, I'm not. And neither are you.

God is the Author of every story.

I'm just a character. And probably the kind that makes the reader want to chuck the book across the room.

Singlehood is no less important to a person's identity than being in a "relationship"

Here's something I find annoying:

Even Facebook considers single people to be somehow less than married, engaged, or relationally occupied people.  Not only does a single person's single status not appear on their feeds or profiles, people aren't even notified of a friend's single status when they break up or end a relationship.
There's something intensely wrong about that.  You know what?  I love being single.  I've noticed something over the past however many years.
I'm actually happier and less stressed when I am single than when I am in a relationship.

So why doesn't my singleness get to be shouted to the world like other people's relationships or engagements?

At the very least, it should show up on my profile.  That's only fair, really.  Marriage isn't the final goal of everyone's life, after all.  God can use single people often more effectively than he can use married people, since married people have a commitment to each other, whereas single people don't need to focus on loving and honoring anyone but God.

Just saying.

It's like an adventure for my soul

My reaction to reading a new book by one of my favorite authors (this all occurs over the course of several hours):

• Haha!  I totally get it!  It's because they share a bloodline!
• Ooh!  Ooh!  I think I know!  She was the first Ellcrys!
• Dude, he's totally in love with you.  Stop being an idiot!
• Aw, man, you didn't see that coming?  Seriously?  He's a freaking politician, what'd you expect?
• Oh, no, don't die!  Why did you kill him?  He was like the coolest character ever!
• Okay, the prince is a turd.
• Nope, it's the boy.  It was all a set-up.  Why am I the only one who sees this?
• Wicked shot.  I'm totally in love with him now.
• Ha!  I was totally right!  She became the first Ellcrys to make up for her bad love decisions.
• Fly, my pretties!
• Uh-oh.
• Whoa, okay.  Did not see that one coming.  Even though I cheered.  A lot.
• I've got a bad feeling about this.
• Heehee, I like the green mist monster of Paranor.  It makes all the bad guys scream and wet their pants.
• Can anyone spell TRAP?!
• No, stupid, don't walk through the mysterious curtain of light!  That's what they want you to do!
• Ooh, a dragon!
• How am I the only one who realizes that this is the same trap Grianne fell into a hundred years ago?
• See, I told you.
• Well, at least you're not dead.  Even if you are so stupid I can't even see why you're still alive.  Idiot.
• Stop being such a whiner-baby and man up!  Or woman up.  Whatever, you know what I mean.
• Your mom is totally possessed.  Or maybe she's evil.  Or maybe she's possessed by evil.  Well, those are your options unless you want to accept that she's really that cold-hearted and bitchy.
• Well, of course they're chasing you.  Did you expect this to be easy?  Amberle did it a thousand years before you and she had a worse time of it, believe you me!
• Stop whining and get over yourself.
• Oh look, they're still following you.  And you're surprised by this?
• Don't do that, they'll find you.
• Didn't I just say-
• Run!  Run, you idiot, don't just stand there!  It's your own damn fault for not listening to me in the first place!
• See, I told you he was in love with you.
• When he says 'everyone's going to die', does he mean, like, everyone everyone?  Because this isn't supposed to be a George Martin book, you know!
• OMG, kill it!  Kill it!
• I'm totally going to marry an Elf!
• It's a trap.
• See?
• Why doesn't anyone listen to me?
• She's creepy.
• Aw, man, come on!  She's just using you!
• Well, that was dumb.  
• Eew!  Okay, massive death count and now heads on pikes?  You are not turning the Four Lands into Westeros!  Not, not, NOT!
• Well, that was unnecessary.
• And that was even more unnecessary.
• Stop killing off all the cool characters!  Especially when you do it with stupid decisions instead of assassins and massive violent epics and magical battles!
• Aw, that was sweet.
• Ugh, and that was not.  Gross!
• Run!  RunrunrunrunrunrunRUN!

And when I finally finished the book...

• Man, am I exhausted!  I need a nap.

Árstíðir - Heyr himna smiður (Icelandic hymn) in train station

Listening to this gave me unbelievable chills.

My Daughter Made A WWII Veteran Cry

My Daughter Made A WWII Veteran Cry



I read this and I cried.  I read this and I am still crying.  Everyone needs to read this.

It goes a little something like this...

Here's the conversation:

P.S. This is how I see the world ALL THE TIME.
"A wild imagination" from dArtist thatoneangelfish

G. has been given the impression that E. is a man-hating shrew.  So he spends all his time dreading having to talk to her, just knowing that her sharp tongue is going to flay him alive.  The scene is them working together on a project.  E. starts to doze off, and, afraid he's going to join her, G. runs to Starbucks for some coffee for them both.  When he returns, he has to wake her up so they can finish their project.  When he wakes her up, he discovers that she is a far cry from what he expected, and actually quite erudite, if a little linear in her thinking.  They discover that they actually have a lot in common.

However, this is not one of those "meet-cutes" which leads to hopelessly falling in love, happily ever after, everybody lives on in romance and rainbows and unicorns.

In fact, E. is still as anti-marriage as she ever was, G. is somewhat bemused but still loveable, and there are some crazy aunts, a hopeless romantic or two, and a couple of men try to lay down the law on their women (and we can all guess how well that goes).

In short, there is chaos in my head, AND I LOVE IT!!!

What did you do this weekend?

Eureka!

You know how, when you're writing a story, and you're not entirely sure what the drama is going to be or where the characters are going to end up, so you just start writing scenes and hoping that somewhere, they'll start to resolve themselves?
I hit that point today.  I was just doodling, filling space with a Sunday dinner, scene, and all of a sudden, it came to me, and I was like, "Eureka!"
Okay, so I didn't actually shout Eureka (nor did I in any way say it out loud), but I had my 'aha!' moment, and it was good!  I am officially on my way to finishing this book.  I'm so happy!

I know I've found my writing "groove" when I start to have trouble separating myself from the characters when I stop writing.  This is the point I have reached.

It feels like my birthday again!

I logged into dA this morning, and look at what I found!

I just about had a heart attack.  I mean, Brooke has done this character for me before, but never in color, and never so...so...and the wonderful things she said about my girl!    I love it when people draw my characters.  I love it even more when people love my characters.  And Brooke is one of those artists I love anyway, so it was even more insanely AWESOME!

Monday is my three year anniversary at work.  Isn't that insane?  I love my job.  I love this company, too.  It's just phenomenal, how wonderful it is to work for a company that appreciates its employees.

In fact, today just feels good.  I feel like I've accomplished a lot, even being at work.  We've listened to music and looked at photo books and gone for a walk, and my client has taken two naps, so I had the time to write a little character sketch and balance my checkbook.  Always nice when that happens. :)

Welcome to an awesome Friday!

Marines singing frozon let it go

I love these videos, of people singing Frozen songs.  Also, Marines!  Just AWESOME!!

Aaaaaand…done!

Much more entertaining than politics.

So, tell me how exciting this sounds: six pages on habeas corpus and the war on terror, with particular emphasis paid to the detainees (or 'enemy combatants') of Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

Yeah, that's what I thought.  That is the topic of my final paper for this class.  And all I can say is, I'm so glad it's over.  My new class is a math class, and I'm almost 99.99% positive there will be no papers for this class.  How would one go about writing a paper for a math class, anyway?  I'm not sure.

I'm not even entirely sure how to take a math class online.  I guess I'll learn, eh?  I really do wish I hadn't taken two years off of school, though.  I now have to take an algebra class because it's been more than five years since my last one.  This is why you shouldn't procrastinate, children! 

Oh well, so my graduation date gets pushed back a little more.  So what?  At least I like math.  To a degree.  I like algebra, anyway.  It fascinates me, even though I don't actually enjoy it.  Isn't that a paradox?  I like math, but I don't enjoy it.  Hmm…

I have discovered the joys of loose teas, and now, there's no going back!  So!  There's a tea shop called Teavana in Bayshore.  I'm tempted to schedule an evening with Sarah and then drag her over there to check it out.  From what I hear, it's about as awesome as you can get.  And seriously, if you could smell some of these teas…my client's daughter went, and she invited me to try some of the teas she bought.  I tried her blueberry acai blend, and OMG, I just wanted to sit here and stick my nose in the bag all night!  It's so ridiculously fragrant, I bet even my 'tea just tastes like colored water to me' boyfriend would like it.

SO!

Puff pride!

Guess what, guess what!

I am going to be a bridesmaid for the first time ever!  I know, I know, it doesn't seem like a big deal.  And maybe in the grand scheme of the world, that's true.  But do you know what?  My little brother is getting married to the woman he loves, and I am invited to be a part of that.  So, as far as I'm concerned, the "grand scheme" can suck it, because I am utterly thrilled!

I'm kind of feeling sassy at the moment.  I'm so proud of myself for finishing a paper I really, REALLY didn't want to write, for a class I really, REALLY didn't like or even want to take.  Yes, I put it off until the last possible moment, BUT!  But I finally finished it, and I'm proud of myself.  Even though I have a pounding headache and a belly full of cramps, and I'm really, really overheated right now.  Because I did it, even though I didn't want to.

FYI, I could have passed the class even if I had totally blown off the paper.  But I still did it anyway.  So, go me!

My life may be boring, but it's mine and I enjoy it.

Because it's the most adorable little
Firefly/Harry Potter crossover in existence
(if you don't understand the reference, I pity you.).

I am a little bit of a goof.

Okay, I'm a lot a bit of a goof.  I knew I shouldn't.  But I did it anyway.  I stayed up last night to read.  Wow, I haven't actually done that in a while.  Not for pleasure, definitely.  Some for research papers, or to watch TV, or just because I had insomnia, but it's been a while since I stayed up all night to finish a book.

I remember when the last time was, though.  July 22, 2007.  It would have been July 20, 2007, but I was with Mom in Chicago at a Women of Faith conference, and I didn't even get home until Sunday afternoon.  Some of you, if you're like me, will remember the significance of 7/20/07.  It was the release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (the actual Deathly Hallows, people, not the first movie part!).  I had to work in the morning, and I still stayed up all night to finish it.

Do you know what it's like to be physically unable to put a book down?  If not, I pity you.  It's one of the strangest, most exhilarating, most wonderful feelings in the world.  It used to happen to me all the time.  Then, I guess, I just read too many books.  The feeling cannot be repeated or recaptured by going back and reading the book again.
It can be renewed, though.    Personally, I like Rick Riordan for that.  The Kane Chronicles were the first, then the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series.  Now it's going to be the Heroes of Olympus (I've already pre-ordered the next book in the series).  I love this feeling!

There are so many books out there that can cause that feeling, too.
I intend to read them all. :-)  The days of staying up all night reading Harry Potter books for the first time is back- with a vengeance!

Try these

Navy Baseball does Frozen

This just made my entire day.



Jenn, my dear, sweet, sister-to-be, you are my total sunshine today!

Social media sucks

I resent Facebook.

Not re-sent, but resent.  As in, I feel a stab of resentment whenever I check my Facebook news feed.  Which also, I suppose, makes me a masochist, since I check it every time I connect to the internet.

On that same note, I'm actually considering getting rid of my Facebook page.  On the one hand, it is moderately convenient to be able to look at Facebook and see how friends and family in other states are doing.  But on the other, it wastes so much of my time, and I'm tired of getting news second-hand.  If I don't warrant first-hand updates, then I'd rather not get them at all.

Sounds selfish and childish of me, I know.  But when your best friend gets engaged, you don't want to find out from Facebook.  You want to find out from them.  Social media sites (and I'm not just talking about Facebook now) have made us lazy.  We went from letters and thank you notes, to emails and phone calls, to texts and tweets within a ten year period of time, and...well, it's kind of sickening.  We no longer have to put forth any effort to let people know they're important to us, so we make the whole world our best friend.

I don't know the whole world.  I don't want to know the whole world.  But I want my friends to know they're important to me.

Sending them a Facebook message doesn't quite convey the feeling appropriately.

World's Toughest Job - #worldstoughestjob

Yeah, I was fine until they started crying.  No offense, because thinking of everything my mom (and dad) does for me makes me intensely grateful and (depending on how much sleep I got), moderately misty, the crying felt...kind of contrived.

But very well done.

Happy days!

I know we're "supposed" to draw it on our left wrist,
but I'm left-handed, so I drew it on my right wrist.
Deal with it.

So, I've definitely given up on tumblr.  It just bothers me, and it's no fun, since even the fandom posters (like Disney bloggers) want to discuss the morality of things like abortion and same-sex marriage (most of the tumblr-ers are pro-both, just FYI).  So, instead, I have returned!
And with good news!
My brother, my dear little baby brother (he's 26, despite my simpering, in case you were wondering), proposed to his girlfriend last Friday night (isn't that the name of a movie?) and she said YES (well, of course she did).  My baby brother is getting married!  Isn't that wonderful!?
I think it's wonderful.  And I think my brain is finally used to the idea, because it hasn't gibbered at me in a while, like it did all weekend. :)
It's been a long week.  Yes, I know it's only Wednesday.  Sue me.
I hate the internet.  Or, at least, I hate the internet connections.  And the people who spend so much effort creating viruses to wreck other people's lives when they could be out getting real jobs instead of being parasites.
Trust me, that wasn't as random as it seemed.
I'm going now.

I wondered how many I really knew by heart (meant to be posted on April 8)

"For I know the plans I have for you," said the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for a hope and a future." –Jeremiah 29:11

"Those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint; they will soar on wings like eagles." –Isaiah 40:31

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son; that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life." –John 3:16

"In the beginning, there was the Word.  And the Word was with God and the Word was God." –John 1:1

"I have hidden your word away in my heart, so I might not sin against you." –Psalm 119:11

"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth." –Genesis 1:1

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not upon your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." –Proverbs 3:5-6

"If you think you are standing strong, be careful, for you too may fall into the same sin." -1 Corinthians 10:12

"These three remain: faith, hope, and love.  But the greatest of these is love." -1 Corinthians 13:13

"Ask and it will be given to you. Seek, and you will find.  Knock, and the door will be opened to you.  For all who ask, receive, all who seek, find, and all who knock are welcomed in." –Matthew 7:7

"Take heart, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world." -1 John 4:4

"I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life.  No one comes to the Father except through me." –John 14:6

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." –Philippians 4:13

Off the top of a really tired brain, those are the ones I remember word for word, along with their associations.  I'm sure there are more; I remember most of 1 Corinthians 13, and Psalm 23.  I remember verses without being sure of their references, like "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" which I think is Romans 8: 23 or Romans 3:23.

What's sad?  I used to remember more than this.  It just shows how far I have fallen.  How long it's been since I actively practiced a living, growing faith.  But you know what?  I can change it.  And I think this time I shall change it.  Starting with my memory of verses.  I want to accept Rick Warren's challenge to memorize a Bible verse every week for the rest of my life.  If nothing else, it will "stock" my spiritual "arsenal."  I believe it was Pastor Warren himself who equated memorizing Scripture with buying bullets for my spiritual "gun."

Personally, I prefer swords and arrows to bullets.  Call me a traditionalist. J